Saturday, August 22, 2009

My God sized hole.

Darkness and emptiness overwhelm me.

I cant stand this feeling. Being inside my own skin is hell.
I am empty.
I cannot breathe.

I love you and hate you at the same time.
I hate myself always.
I despise what I have become.
You give me nothing and everything and it is never enough.

I am left with feelings of doubt and self loathing.
Alone in my mind wondering what I did wrong.
How can I make it better? How can I make you love me more.

You wont give me an inch for fear that I will take a mile.
You are right, I will take a mile.
I will take everything you are.
I will bleed you dry and it will never be enough.
You can never be enough.

My insides are empty.
I have no idea who I am or what I want to be.

Are you the next victim?
Will you be the one that is enough to make me feel OK in my own skin?

The ones that have come before you have all fallen short.

Are you willing to risk everything that you are; to be bled dry in hopes that you are enough?
Will you try and fill up my God sized hole; the hole that resides where my heart used to be?

Are you my new God?

5 comments:

  1. beautiful and dark. deep and overwhelming. you never cease to amaze me..... please keep writing baby.

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  2. Wow, ok, now I'm really impressed with your writing, honey. This is so beautiful, so full of emotion.

    Do me a favor and email it to me. =) I want to run it by the others for the 'zine.

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  3. Poetry has always helped me cope with the darkness and poison within. This is so haunting and naked in its truth. Thank you, once again, for sharing a piece of your soul.

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  4. This pulls so many heartstrings it's hard to know what to say... I don't have the words or talent to express how incredible and beautiful I think this is. Thank you.

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  5. I think everybody is looking for a new thing to cling to, and that's a permanent thing. The problem with being thinking creatures is that we CAN think. Too fucking much, wouldn't you agree? Life is what we make of it. Period. Choose your own attitude and all that Happy-Days jive. You know who you are. Be her.

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