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Thursday, April 8, 2010

I Love You


Let's call this an experiment in my poetry.
This is the second short story/poem that's entered my head this week. I have not posted the first one. I don't know if I will.
This one came out of me at the demand of my muse... He heard a song I was listening to while lingering in my head and this is what he whispered to me. (yes I know how crazy that sounds but some of you understand it.)
Let me know what you think please... I am sure I could use the feedback.

Simply titled: I love you

“Do you believe me anymore when I tell you I love you?”

Your words hung suspended before my eyes, floating as though they had no need for a place to land.
If I had the power to erase them I would.

Quick as I can, I answer.

“Stop I don’t want to cry tonight…Dammit”

But it was too late. The minute you asked the question the lump that is now a constant presence in my throat broke free and the tears fell at will.

“I love you” I hear you say to me

Full of desperation and unable to quell my tears; agony spills forth coating the emptiness of my soul.

Moments tumble by and I finally manage a reply,

“I want to believe you…but your behavior tells me differently,”

Walking away you stop, turn and say,

“Fair enough, I've just got a lot of personal stuff going on… I let it get to me and keep me busy… I'm sorry I do that, anyway…Good night baby.”

I watch you go and stand there stunned in my puddle of tears. The pain so great I feel as though I will burst, then the anger comes… and finally I can breathe.

I run after you, grab your arm, turning you to me.

“That was the biggest bullshit statement you have ever fed me. You told me a long time ago that I would know when you didn’t want me anymore… Well I feel it! I see it!
It’s so obvious it’s embarrassing!”

We stand there in silence. Nothing else to say… you turn and walk away.

I don’t know why I hold on to this.
I keep waiting, I suppose, for things to change.
Will they?
I can easily fall back into my fantasy… Where, once again, you love me.

I’m stubborn just like you.
I won’t do what you so clearly are too weak to.

You told me before that one day I would leave you. That I would resent you for not giving me more…
But you see that is simply not true.
I won’t let you use that as an excuse. I refuse to make it so easy for you.

I don’t resent you and I haven’t left you.
My heart knows and loves you still…
The truth is you’ve already left me.

Your words hung suspended before my eyes, floating as though they had no need for a place to land.

“Do you believe me anymore when I tell you I love you?”

Whispering through tears streaking down my cheeks,

“No baby, I don’t… Because I know I’ve already lost you”

9 comments:

  1. Very heartbreaking!...I like the different format, interesting. :)

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  2. Whoa and wtf. I would love to read more of this style prose from you! ox

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  3. Wow.... I can relate to this so much today!

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  4. Sad and very heartfelt, powerful

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  5. that's poetry? wow ..... sounds like an unstable person writing in a diary

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  6. The moment in this post is honest in a way that makes it easily feel real to the reader. <3

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  7. A bit harsh Anonymous...ever been in love? Ever had feelings? Try it sometime

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