Silent Goodbye

Alone with my fear
Reluctantly I rise
Clutching the pale sheet
Wound tightly about my form
No longer your willing captive
Shackled in the dark
Riddled with desperation
Quiet pleas for mercy
Unheard or ignored
My dignity stripped raw
Used at will
Marked with scars
A second skin confines
Tattooed impressions upon my soul
Unsure of my footing
One small step
Propels me away
Forward
Light filters through
A crack in the wall
Freedom beckons me
I wobble and advance
Toward the precipice
Balanced on the edge
I turn around and see clearly
Your eyes
Silently urging
Go
Take your leave from me
Hope crushed once more
Falling backwards
The pale material
Unfolds and flies above
A white flag of surrender
A silent goodbye
From me

The Corner

You must believe

I’m made of stone

My heart

Encased in steel

One look

I breathe

One touch

I’m free

One cruel word

Banishes me

Jettisoned

Orbiting misery

Heart clenched

Bracing me

Preemptively

I know too well the

Punishment I motivate

Silence you demonstrate

Gut wrenching pain

Pushes pink clouds away

Fostering darkened skies

Banished to the corner

Broken and torn

Somewhere inside

The depths of your mind

A dark corner

You’ve labeled mine

Blackened

Wallowing in me

Huddled in a soothing

Embrace of self…

Selfishness

Self-centered

Self…

I’ve no idea

Who or what

I will be

When I’m gone

Will I find lucidity?

Each direction I turn

Walls close slowly

Devouring the last of my sanity

Everything dead

Blackened

Painted by your hand

Fleeting moments of clarity

In between monotonous

Decomposing memories

I’m quite certain

You’re alone

Rotting and cold

Coloring the walls of the box

Containing your soul

Wallowing in you

Huddled in a soothing

Embrace of the box

Remembering who

I thought you were

My God Sized Hole

Darkness and emptiness overwhelm me.

I cant stand this feeling. Being inside my own skin is hell.
I am empty.
I cannot breathe.

I love you and hate you at the same time.
I hate myself always.
I despise what I have become.
You give me nothing and everything and it is never enough.

I am left with feelings of doubt and self loathing.
Alone in my mind wondering what I did wrong.
How can I make it better? How can I make you love me more.

You wont give me an inch for fear that I will take a mile.
You are right, I will take a mile.
I will take everything you are.
I will bleed you dry and it will never be enough.
You can never be enough.

My insides are empty.
I have no idea who I am or what I want to be.

Are you the next victim?
Will you be the one that is enough to make me feel OK in my own skin?

The ones that have come before you have all fallen short.

Are you willing to risk everything that you are; to be bled dry in hopes that you are enough?
Will you try and fill up my God sized hole; the hole that resides where my heart used to be?

Are you my new God?