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Showing posts with label decision. Show all posts
Showing posts with label decision. Show all posts

Sunday, July 31, 2016

Irony

This was something my son, Matthew, wrote back in July of 2014. I found it quite moving...maybe you will too.


 ~ ~ ~ 


His self-confidence waxes and wanes based on what niceties she chooses to allot him that day. How he chooses to use them is hardly sensible, adding a positive to a larger negative still produces a negative.

His immediate goal is to absorb the happiness and coerce her into giving him more. There is precious little time. If he can't make her love him now then he might miss his chance.

He checked his logic at the airport when he picked her up. Thinking objectively is to no avail, a boy loves a girl and wants his love reciprocated so badly, he is willing to change himself.

The great irony is he has no idea what she wants, he becomes a quiet, jealous, nervous, over thinker. He is making himself less attractive, he lays sleepless thinking about her while she dreams of a better tomorrow.

 Fuck...

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Great Divide



You’re stirring
On the other side
Of our great divide
Your movements slow
Unpredictable
Your face a sullen mask
Once displaying anger
And now melancholy
I’m never certain
Which it will be
Please don’t
Don’t attempt to cross
The tattered bridge that
Still holds our souls connection
You’ll fall…we’ll fall
And I no longer wish to
Still too fragile and unable
To say no
The once beautiful waters
Have receded
Leaving nothing but
Scars in the walls that
Once held it true
A mass of wounds
Healing yet not healed
It’s not wise to disturb
The fresh balance achieved
Flowers will bloom again
Without the water
They once craved
My fragile line
Has been drawn
Stay on your side
Of our great divide
Your guilty hands
Can only bring harm

Saturday, January 29, 2011

If Only...



If only
If only the words I say
Would make you change your mind
Could make you try

If only
If only you still wanted me
What I’d give to hold you
And have you love me
As you did before

Fear dictates reasoning
Choices made constrict
There is no air to breathe
Squeezing all life out of me

If only
If only you could be you
With me
Wishes don’t come true
And hope is a fool

If only
If only I’d chosen differently
The intersection
A defining crossroad
This foolish play destroyed

Tangled in memories
Tangled up in you
What could have been
What used to be

If only
If only the words I say
Would make you change your mind
Could make you come back
To me

Monday, November 8, 2010

Real



Warm flesh
Heart and soul
Keeping time within
A calming pulse
My voice
An affectionate melody
Inside your mind
Trust and dignity
Sarcasm dipped in humor
And bits of insanity
Wrapped up complete
Packaged with sweets
Arms stretched out
Willing to be held
Soft and tender
Against my breast
Embracing reality
I’m real for you
You
Every part of me
My wish
A single hope
Be real for me
Me

Monday, October 25, 2010

Be Gone

Cold darkness
Rents space in my mind
Unwanted cravings
Ever present
You’ve become my religion
My God of understanding
Curled into a ball
Casting you from my mind
Be gone from me
You’re uninvited
This fantasy
Beckons me
Mesmerizes me
Looking away becomes
An exercise in futility
Your claws reach
Deep into my soul
Tearing away
My timid resolve
You’ve identified
Every weakness
One taste
One touch
Proves devastating
Curled into a ball
I cast you from my mind
Be gone from me
Please—

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Silent Goodbye

Alone with my fear
Reluctantly I rise
Clutching the pale sheet
Wound tightly about my form
No longer your willing captive
Shackled in the dark
Riddled with desperation
Quiet pleas for mercy
Unheard or ignored
My dignity stripped raw
Used at will
Marked with scars
A second skin confines
Tattooed impressions upon my soul
Unsure of my footing
One small step
Propels me away
Forward
Light filters through
A crack in the wall
Freedom beckons me
I wobble and advance
Toward the precipice
Balanced on the edge
I turn around and see clearly
Your eyes
Silently urging
Go
Take your leave from me

Hope crushed once more
Falling backwards
The pale material
Unfolds and flies above
A white flag of surrender
A silent goodbye
From me

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Futile Struggle

No weakness
To be found
Within these walls
Erected long ago
Set firmly in place
No match for
Heart and mind
Especially mine
I’ve grown tired
Weary from this battle
A futile struggle
Unable to sustain
My soul is heavy
Filled with self loathing
Confusing love and hate
Dying a thousand deaths
In search of that which
Does not wish to be found
Miles upon miles
Manipulating God's
Orchestration of fate
Trudging a path
Riddled with bones
Withstanding tests of time
Foolishly believing it was mine

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Just Decide

Emotions overwhelming
Twisting and knotting
I’m drowning
I can’t breathe
My words thrown
Back at me
Swallowing my need
To know
To understand
Explain it please
Enlighten me
Punish me
Save me from my sin
I’m sinking
Don’t you see
You own me
With Power
From your fingertips
You determine
What will be
Fight with me
Stay with me
Or leave me to die
Just decide