Eternally

Our fairytale was
Written bold and clean
Woven between
Lies that became
Truth that became
Fantasy

Yours and mine

Excuses once
Logical now seem
Mundane and
Reality will always
Be love
I’ll love you
Eternally connected
Forever

Perhaps mystically

No matter how far
You stray
From me no matter
How long you
Stay away
Reality will always
Be love
You’ll love me
Eternally connected
Forever

To me

And bitter sweetness
Remains hidden inside
Our never ending
Fairytale
Of make-believe

Disease

Your petty display
I’ve often overlooked
Refusing this fate
Loving you in spite of
Your obvious lies
I’ve had all I can take
I hate your hypocrite face

Truth is supposed to set me free
Yet I’m held captive
Inside this maze
Crawling with venomous
Vines dripping excuses
You crafted just for me

I hate you occupying my mind
Like a disease you’ve taken hold
And won’t let go
Infecting every inch of my soul
Spoiling everything I taste

There is no serenity
Wandering inside this pathetic joke
Cursing your memory
Screaming your name
Dying one moment at a time

Mostly I hate
That my hate still isn’t
Strong enough
To kill my love
Eradicating this contamination
Called you
A constant threat
To my sanity

Ever forgiving
Unconditional
Never faltering
Love
Stands strong
You don’t deserve an ounce
Not one drop of blood
From my heart
You don’t even deserve
My hate

Naivety

My morbid reflection
Brings no understanding
Only hollow ache
Arrogant disdain
Your superfluous tool
Help cast aside
My lingering doubts
Polish and wipe your sins clean
Quickly now
Turn your whipping stick
Towards me
Ruthless strikes
Again and again
No mercy for the weak
Punishment is necessary
Though you’ll never really be clean
Mustn’t let them see
Please
Masquerade your lie
Be sure to highlight mine
Let the gauntlet fly
Condemn your very creation
Destroy every cell
Of my heart once held
Once loved
Incinerate any evidence
Of the error you made
Deny any responsibility
After all
It was my foolish
Naivety

If Only...

If only
If only the words I say
Would make you change your mind
Could make you try

If only
If only you still wanted me
What I’d give to hold you
And have you love me
As you did before

Fear dictates reasoning
Choices made constrict
There is no air to breathe
Squeezing all life out of me

If only
If only you could be you
With me
Wishes don’t come true
And hope is a fool

If only
If only I’d chosen differently
The intersection
A defining crossroad
This foolish play destroyed

Tangled in memories
Tangled up in you
What could have been
What used to be

If only
If only the words I say
Would make you change your mind
Could make you come back
To me

Intersection

Who is this person I see
This person before me
Is it reality?
Or something different
Entirely
Is it true?
Is it really you?
The proof before my eyes
You…
It couldn’t be
A part of me can’t believe it’s true
Maybe you showed me
Someone you used to be
A slightly younger version
Who you wish you
Could still be
But never will be
The intersection you presented
You placed in my hands
Without knowing it
You showed me everything
Told me all I was missing
For now I see
Everything you hid from me
Never wanted me to see
Me to know
Me
Who has always been me
Laid bare before you
But not you
You’re a lie
Your own fantasy
A false image you presented
Yourself to be
Didn’t you know?
Maybe it would have been okay
Had you trusted me
With the actual you
A choice
And now
There is nothing
But lies and fallacy
And now I’ve no choice
But to be done with you
I’m done
Whoever you may be
Now I’ll mourn the loss of who
I believed you to be

Safe From Me

 

Who am I

Who should I be

I’ve been lost and found

In the space of one moment in time

Yet at the core of my distress

My confusion

I find me

Who I used to be

But still am

Truth, insanity, insecurity

A lover, a mother

A wife, a friend

A hopeless romantic

A fool

Someone I used to know

No longer someone I want to be

But me…alone

Forever dependent on you

Thoughts, feelings, fears and emotions

Love…

Why me

What could you possibly see in me

Is it the idea of me

What I used to be

Or what I am today

Who am I today

God – please help me

Help me uncover what I’m supposed to be

What you need me to be

Help me find the truth

Buried deep inside of me

I’m sick of this endless hallway

Sick of the pain that wraps around me

Like a second skin

I run and hide in the dark place

Within my heart

I’m safe there

Safe

From me

I Wait

Thoughts swirl about

Within my mind

Startling my soul

Breaking apart

Truth I knew

Words morph into lies

Every whisper

Each promise

Burns to ash

Before my eyes

I wait

And I wonder

Did you know?

With the power I gave you

This is what you could do?

You’ve broken

The last bits of my heart

Presented openly to you

Did you know?

Your assurances meant everything

Truth be told

I wait

And I wonder

Will you mend what

You hold so carelessly?

I’ve given you the power to

Looking Glass

What’s behind your eyes,

Seized under lock and key?

What secrets do you hold

Within the pools of your soul?

Don’t fear your truth.

It doesn’t define you, as you believe.

Turn to the looking glass,

That’s where I’ll be.

Tell me your stories.

I’m listening.

In them, there’s beauty.

You will see.

It’s all just a memory.

Not the designation of who you’re meant to be.

Behind your eyes,

Lingers truth and vulnerability.

Turn to my looking glass,

I will set you free.

Tarnished

Sweetness and vulnerability.

Sharing so much of me,

With little left to give.

Anything and all you need.

This, the very essence of me.

Mistaken claims of sincerity.

Actually, lies once told by me.

The twin,

You thought you knew.

Truth or imaginary?

This, the very brand of me.

Which is it you prefer I be?

The mirror is tarnished.

Polish it,

Won’t you please?

Stop pretending you see so clearly.

Justly, I believed your stories in my mind.

This, the very darkness in me.

A stranger,

To everyone who sees me.

Loving? Caring? Giving?

The truth is…

I’m selfish.

Who do you see?

Me or your twin?

This, the very essence of me.

Duplicity

Hypocrisy

Displayed in your spiteful smirk

Duplicity

Fostered in vast lunacy

Withdraw and hide

Shy away from me

The well has run dry

Air you can’t breathe

Eyes you won’t see

The truth you can’t speak

Cowering behind

Your fabrication

Protesting too much

It’s YOU they see

Not…ME

She Burns

Judge and jury

Her executioner

Condemn the witch

Serve her up

For all to see

Cast your stones

Deliver your worst

Those without sin

Should be the first

God’s cautioning

At the stake she burns

Is there truth

In the lies

You’ll never be sure

The witch

Dies before you

Her voice won’t be heard