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Showing posts with label choices. Show all posts
Showing posts with label choices. Show all posts

Sunday, July 31, 2016

Irony

This was something my son, Matthew, wrote back in July of 2014. I found it quite moving...maybe you will too.


 ~ ~ ~ 


His self-confidence waxes and wanes based on what niceties she chooses to allot him that day. How he chooses to use them is hardly sensible, adding a positive to a larger negative still produces a negative.

His immediate goal is to absorb the happiness and coerce her into giving him more. There is precious little time. If he can't make her love him now then he might miss his chance.

He checked his logic at the airport when he picked her up. Thinking objectively is to no avail, a boy loves a girl and wants his love reciprocated so badly, he is willing to change himself.

The great irony is he has no idea what she wants, he becomes a quiet, jealous, nervous, over thinker. He is making himself less attractive, he lays sleepless thinking about her while she dreams of a better tomorrow.

 Fuck...

Saturday, January 29, 2011

If Only...



If only
If only the words I say
Would make you change your mind
Could make you try

If only
If only you still wanted me
What I’d give to hold you
And have you love me
As you did before

Fear dictates reasoning
Choices made constrict
There is no air to breathe
Squeezing all life out of me

If only
If only you could be you
With me
Wishes don’t come true
And hope is a fool

If only
If only I’d chosen differently
The intersection
A defining crossroad
This foolish play destroyed

Tangled in memories
Tangled up in you
What could have been
What used to be

If only
If only the words I say
Would make you change your mind
Could make you come back
To me

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Intersection

Who is this person I see
This person before me
Is it reality?
Or something different
Entirely
Is it true?
Is it really you?
The proof before my eyes
You…
It couldn’t be
A part of me can’t believe it’s true
Maybe you showed me
Someone you used to be
A slightly younger version
Who you wish you
Could still be
But never will be
The intersection you presented
You placed in my hands
Without knowing it
You showed me everything
Told me all I was missing
For now I see
Everything you hid from me
Never wanted me to see
Me to know
Me
Who has always been me
Laid bare before you
But not you
You’re a lie
Your own fantasy
A false image you presented
Yourself to be
Didn’t you know?
Maybe it would have been okay
Had you trusted me
With the actual you
A choice
And now
There is nothing
But lies and fallacy
And now I’ve no choice
But to be done with you
I’m done
Whoever you may be
Now I’ll mourn the loss of who
I believed you to be

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

We



My trickle of hope
Leans across the pillow
Beside me
Words fall from your eyes
Soundless pleas
Meaning everything
Soothing heartache and pain
Leaping into your soul
Dancing in memories
Of We
Twisting together
A Connection
Withstanding sin
Cradled in hands of gods
An undying love
Produces simple yearning
Revealing trepidation
Trust lost to one
Leaving requests unfulfilled
Fear rules and strips devotion
In two
Severing the bond
One still holds true
Tears trickle
Across the pillow
Hope flickers
Then gone

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Silent Goodbye

Alone with my fear
Reluctantly I rise
Clutching the pale sheet
Wound tightly about my form
No longer your willing captive
Shackled in the dark
Riddled with desperation
Quiet pleas for mercy
Unheard or ignored
My dignity stripped raw
Used at will
Marked with scars
A second skin confines
Tattooed impressions upon my soul
Unsure of my footing
One small step
Propels me away
Forward
Light filters through
A crack in the wall
Freedom beckons me
I wobble and advance
Toward the precipice
Balanced on the edge
I turn around and see clearly
Your eyes
Silently urging
Go
Take your leave from me

Hope crushed once more
Falling backwards
The pale material
Unfolds and flies above
A white flag of surrender
A silent goodbye
From me

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Boomerang

My thoughts

Colored

With memories of

You

My mind wanders

No longer

Mine

Your denial

Of this

Pain

Runs thick

Within my veins

This see-saw of

Emotions

Blurring everything

Desperate

My heart

A boomerang

You’re not aware

These choices bring

Pure insanity

You hear me

Yet you’re not listening

I can’t save you

You won’t let me

You’ve passed me by

My tears

Colored

With memories of

You and me

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Me

Alone

Tears fall from my heart

A place wrung dry

Empty

Denying Gods will

Me

Too many paths laid out

I don’t want to know

Truth

I refuse to let go

Broken

Alone