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Showing posts with label Feelings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Feelings. Show all posts

Sunday, July 31, 2016

Irony

This was something my son, Matthew, wrote back in July of 2014. I found it quite moving...maybe you will too.


 ~ ~ ~ 


His self-confidence waxes and wanes based on what niceties she chooses to allot him that day. How he chooses to use them is hardly sensible, adding a positive to a larger negative still produces a negative.

His immediate goal is to absorb the happiness and coerce her into giving him more. There is precious little time. If he can't make her love him now then he might miss his chance.

He checked his logic at the airport when he picked her up. Thinking objectively is to no avail, a boy loves a girl and wants his love reciprocated so badly, he is willing to change himself.

The great irony is he has no idea what she wants, he becomes a quiet, jealous, nervous, over thinker. He is making himself less attractive, he lays sleepless thinking about her while she dreams of a better tomorrow.

 Fuck...

Monday, May 16, 2016

And Still...



Photo credit: Blackman Whitelife

There is no air
For me to breathe

There is no light
To guide my way

The flowers don't bloom
My world is dark

Only my mind is bright
With pictures of you

That look in your eyes
Meant only for me

Chemistry binding
Skin mixed with sin

Soul and heart 
Spirits entwined

Until death do us part
But there was no death

Yet my broken heart 
Continues to beat

Even when there is no air
And still...

You manage to breathe

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Endless Loop

Caught in an endless loop.

Having been told once that I cry too much.

Yet, I’ve heard that if you've lost something or someone that's important to you and you don't cry, then you're not mourning that loss properly, effectively.

When we cry, we mourn, we cleanse, and hopefully we begin to heal.

I do cry a lot, yes.

But, it's always because I’m mourning a loss of something important to me, or even that I sense that loss coming.

Sometimes I'm crying because I know that I'm about to lose something important to me and no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try to hold on, I will lose it anyway.

My heart intuitively knows that it’s already gone, and the grieving process begins long before the action happens.

A friendship is gone.

And now I cry, every day.

I'm mourning and I don’t want to let go.

Unbelievable misunderstanding.

So much confusion.

Promises made then destroyed.

Often my mind rolls over the reasons given. When they were spoken to me, each one felt like a knife plunging into my beating heart. Now when I recall them it’s as if that knife is still embedded in my flesh, and with each memory twists deeper.

It’s a physical pain. And I can only cry, so I do.

It’s a physical pain. And I can only cry, so I do.

Often my mind rolls over the reasons given. When they were spoken to me, each one felt like a knife plunging into my beating heart. Now when I recall them it’s as if that knife is still embedded in my flesh, and with each memory twists deeper.

Promises made then destroyed.

So much confusion.

Unbelievable misunderstanding.

I'm mourning and I don’t want to let go.

And now I cry, every day.

A friendship is gone.

My heart intuitively knows that it’s already gone, and the grieving process begins long before the action happens.

Sometimes I'm crying because I know that I'm about to lose something important to me and no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try to hold on, I will lose it anyway.

But, it's always because I’m mourning a loss of something important to me, or even that I sense that loss coming.

I do cry a lot, yes.

When we cry, we mourn, we cleanse, and hopefully we begin to heal.

Yet, I’ve heard that if you've lost something or someone that's important to you and you don't cry, then you're not mourning that loss properly, effectively.

Having been told once that I cry too much.

Caught in an endless loop.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Eternally



Our fairytale was
Written bold and clean
Woven between
Lies that became
Truth that became
Fantasy

Yours and mine

Excuses once
Logical now seem
Mundane and
Reality will always
Be love
I’ll love you
Eternally connected
Forever

Perhaps mystically

No matter how far
You stray
From me no matter
How long you
Stay away
Reality will always
Be love
You’ll love me
Eternally connected
Forever

To me

And bitter sweetness
Remains hidden inside
Our never ending
Fairytale
Of make-believe

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Tainted Reality

It’s not real

Feelings now

Tainted by words

No longer

Understood the same

As before

The lines in the script

Have changed

The players

Remain the same

What I feel

Torn through with

Webs of doubt

Desperation

Confusion and pain

Yet I can’t

Let go

What I see

Stands before me

Still

Holding my place

In line

My feet firmly

Planted

Waiting for

The storm to pass

For you to answer

Is this real