Layers of tattered papers Hold penned sonnets Long since expected Declaring love Whispered promises Devotions to keep Letters received One followed by another Spinning fairy tales Crafted from whimsy Tied neatly in a bow Cleverly lined with gold Now worn from hours Of recitation Committing each word To my heart shaped box Of memories Your cherished notes Ceased long ago As did anticipated hope There would be One more Read by moons light These shadowed words Display differently For now I see The fallacy played A story believed Conjuring my desire To set them free To be carried away Upon stolen winds Sent back From where they came
Winds whisper your words to me I love you And repeat A million different ways
Your many faces Make no difference to me Only memories A movie reel on repeat Showing what was Playing what is Projecting what will never be
Tainted pictures painted of me The story told Words written in angry disdain Cause pain Yet hold no weight Only the million ways I love you Inevitably warmed me Remains
The pain hides within my eyes My smile Nothing more than polite disguise Unchangeable and ever beautiful To everyone but you
Again the winds whisper Devoid of your feelings Feelings I shouldn’t want or need Feelings that mean too much to me
Kneeling before Broken memories Time stands still Yet moments pass A book of riddles You and me Still seeking Searching for answers I seem to need Impatiently waiting For explanations Begging please Have mercy Do you not know me? Have you forgotten Everything? An accepting place Awaits you Inside my heart Can’t you see? It’s still me I’ll keep seeking Searching for answers I seem to need
My trickle of hope Leans across the pillow Beside me Words fall from your eyes Soundless pleas Meaning everything Soothing heartache and pain Leaping into your soul Dancing in memories Of We Twisting together A Connection Withstanding sin Cradled in hands of gods An undying love Produces simple yearning Revealing trepidation Trust lost to one Leaving requests unfulfilled Fear rules and strips devotion In two Severing the bond One still holds true Tears trickle Across the pillow Hope flickers Then gone
I gave up Gave in I’d given enough My heart misses you My mind rejects you It still hurts Raw skin burns My love ran deep Fierce and loyal More than you deserved It was a game for you Nothing more I begged On my knees Pleaded You presented Only shameful apathy I should have seen But in the beginning I was struck blind Mesmerized By your sweet eyes Clever words Your lying smile No longer worthy Remember I used to be? Finally I see clearly It was you Who wasn’t worthy of me
I sit and gaze Inside the looking glass It reflects clearly a time Long since past Overflowing with memories Your smiling eyes Linger before me Your voice clear A lullaby in my mind The feel of your mouth Pressed softly to mine Our arms wrapped tightly In a lovers embrace A smile graces your lips A giggle escapes mine Twirling and laughing The reverie of our play Inspires a smile This is what I needed What I longed for Watching the memory Reaching out My fingers find The coolness of the glass Lingering briefly The image blurs I am reminded once again What I see is the past A moment in time A solitary window Reflecting My current reality
Held hostage in a world You create and rule I’ve no desire to leave Lingering in my half awake state The fog grows thick Blanketing reality No reason to breathe Barely existing The walls close in Securing my seat There will be no Abdication from me I’ll always lead From the seat you Willingly appointed me You cannot renounce Your Queen
Let's call this an experiment in my poetry. This is the second short story/poem that's entered my head this week. I have not posted the first one. I don't know if I will. This one came out of me at the demand of my muse... He heard a song I was listening to while lingering in my head and this is what he whispered to me. (yes I know how crazy that sounds but some of you understand it.) Let me know what you think please... I am sure I could use the feedback.
Simply titled: I love you
“Do you believe me anymore when I tell you I love you?”
Your words hung suspended before my eyes, floating as though they had no need for a place to land.
If I had the power to erase them I would.
Quick as I can, I answer.
“Stop I don’t want to cry tonight…Dammit”
But it was too late. The minute you asked the question the lump that is now a constant presence in my throat broke free and the tears fell at will.
“I love you” I hear you say to me
Full of desperation and unable to quell my tears; agony spills forth coating the emptiness of my soul.
Moments tumble by and I finally manage a reply,
“I want to believe you…but your behavior tells me differently,”
Walking away you stop, turn and say,
“Fair enough, I've just got a lot of personal stuff going on… I let it get to me and keep me busy… I'm sorry I do that, anyway…Good night baby.”
I watch you go and stand there stunned in my puddle of tears. The pain so great I feel as though I will burst, then the anger comes… and finally I can breathe.
I run after you, grab your arm, turning you to me.
“That was the biggest bullshit statement you have ever fed me. You told me a long time ago that I would know when you didn’t want me anymore… Well I feel it! I see it!
It’s so obvious it’s embarrassing!”
We stand there in silence. Nothing else to say… you turn and walk away.
I don’t know why I hold on to this.
I keep waiting, I suppose, for things to change.
Will they?
I can easily fall back into my fantasy… Where, once again, you love me.
I’m stubborn just like you.
I won’t do what you so clearly are too weak to.
You told me before that one day I would leave you. That I would resent you for not giving me more…
But you see that is simply not true.
I won’t let you use that as an excuse. I refuse to make it so easy for you.
I don’t resent you and I haven’t left you.
My heart knows and loves you still…
The truth is you’ve already left me.
Your words hung suspended before my eyes, floating as though they had no need for a place to land.
“Do you believe me anymore when I tell you I love you?”
Whispering through tears streaking down my cheeks,
“No baby, I don’t… Because I know I’ve already lost you”
