Puzzle

Fantasies morph
Twisting dreams
Thoughtfully arranged
Displayed before you
Faded blue eyes
Without a face
Beckon me
Promising love
Connected belief
Unable to decipher
Truth from fiction
Missing puzzle pieces
Fill my pockets
Drowning in daydreams
Untangle the scene
Reveal what’s hiding
I need to believe
In something

Seeking

Kneeling before
Broken memories
Time stands still
Yet moments pass
A book of riddles
You and me
Still seeking
Searching for answers
I seem to need
Impatiently waiting
For explanations
Begging please
Have mercy
Do you not know me?
Have you forgotten
Everything?
An accepting place
Awaits you
Inside my heart
Can’t you see?
It’s still me
I’ll keep seeking
Searching for answers
I seem to need

Tired

 

I’m tired from…

Needing more than

I’m needed

Giving more than

I’m given

Wishing more than

I’m wished for

Caring more than

I’m cared for

Crying more than

I’m cried for

Holding more than

I’m held

Touching more than

I’m touched

Fighting more than

I’m fought for

Loving more than

I’m loved

Wanting more than

I’m wanted

Too tired to…

Need

Give

Wish

Care

Cry

Hold

Touch

Fight

Love

Want

And far too tired for you

Tomorrow

What makes me believe

Today you’ll be different

Different than yesterday

Somehow better

Tomorrow

Will promises made

Ever be promises kept

Why do I hold

So tightly to you

What would happen if…

If I let go

Would my heart explode

Splinter into a million pieces

Would you gather them up

Tape them together

And promise again

You’ll be different

Different than yesterday

Somehow better

Tomorrow

Intersection

Who is this person I see
This person before me
Is it reality?
Or something different
Entirely
Is it true?
Is it really you?
The proof before my eyes
You…
It couldn’t be
A part of me can’t believe it’s true
Maybe you showed me
Someone you used to be
A slightly younger version
Who you wish you
Could still be
But never will be
The intersection you presented
You placed in my hands
Without knowing it
You showed me everything
Told me all I was missing
For now I see
Everything you hid from me
Never wanted me to see
Me to know
Me
Who has always been me
Laid bare before you
But not you
You’re a lie
Your own fantasy
A false image you presented
Yourself to be
Didn’t you know?
Maybe it would have been okay
Had you trusted me
With the actual you
A choice
And now
There is nothing
But lies and fallacy
And now I’ve no choice
But to be done with you
I’m done
Whoever you may be
Now I’ll mourn the loss of who
I believed you to be

Safe From Me

 

Who am I

Who should I be

I’ve been lost and found

In the space of one moment in time

Yet at the core of my distress

My confusion

I find me

Who I used to be

But still am

Truth, insanity, insecurity

A lover, a mother

A wife, a friend

A hopeless romantic

A fool

Someone I used to know

No longer someone I want to be

But me…alone

Forever dependent on you

Thoughts, feelings, fears and emotions

Love…

Why me

What could you possibly see in me

Is it the idea of me

What I used to be

Or what I am today

Who am I today

God – please help me

Help me uncover what I’m supposed to be

What you need me to be

Help me find the truth

Buried deep inside of me

I’m sick of this endless hallway

Sick of the pain that wraps around me

Like a second skin

I run and hide in the dark place

Within my heart

I’m safe there

Safe

From me

Home

Let me embrace you
Provide solace
Fears cannot linger
Doubts no longer haunt
Dreams and waking thoughts
Feed upon my nourishing touch
Drink from my soul
Your home within my heart
The soft place
You always know is safe
And recognize
Every part of me
As your own