Saturday, January 29, 2011

If Only...



If only
If only the words I say
Would make you change your mind
Could make you try

If only
If only you still wanted me
What I’d give to hold you
And have you love me
As you did before

Fear dictates reasoning
Choices made constrict
There is no air to breathe
Squeezing all life out of me

If only
If only you could be you
With me
Wishes don’t come true
And hope is a fool

If only
If only I’d chosen differently
The intersection
A defining crossroad
This foolish play destroyed

Tangled in memories
Tangled up in you
What could have been
What used to be

If only
If only the words I say
Would make you change your mind
Could make you come back
To me

Saturday, January 22, 2011

The Ache



Where do we go when we’re left alone? When the things we want or wish for are taken from us and the pain becomes so great that there is no room for anything but the ache?

It consumes everything.

How is it that you can walk away? Don’t you see? You’re integrated into every part of me. The secrets of my soul are yours to keep, to cherish or file away.

I have no choice. You’ll haunt me, a ghost that follows me through all my days and every dream. The last thought before I sleep, the first thought when I wake.

A constant presence that won’t ever leave, even as I suffocate.

You’ve turned and walked away, but I’ll never be free. Your words will play in my mind thousands of times.

“I love you, and I’m sorry."
A melody and a curse in so few words

“I love you too, and no one is sorrier than me.”
I can’t breathe.

Where do I go since you've left me alone? The things I want or wish for you’ve taken from me and the pain is so great that there is no room for anything but the ache.

It’s consuming everything.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Puzzle



Fantasies morph
Twisting dreams
Thoughtfully arranged
Displayed before you
Faded blue eyes
Without a face
Beckon me
Promising love
Connected belief
Unable to decipher
Truth from fiction
Missing puzzle pieces
Fill my pockets
Drowning in daydreams
Untangle the scene
Reveal what’s hiding
I need to believe
In something

Monday, January 17, 2011

Seeking













Kneeling before
Broken memories
Time stands still
Yet moments pass
A book of riddles
You and me
Still seeking
Searching for answers
I seem to need
Impatiently waiting
For explanations
Begging please
Have mercy
Do you not know me?
Have you forgotten
Everything?
An accepting place
Awaits you
Inside my heart
Can’t you see?
It’s still me
I’ll keep seeking
Searching for answers
I seem to need

Monday, January 10, 2011

Tired

 
I’m tired from…
Needing more than
I’m needed
Giving more than
I’m given
Wishing more than
I’m wished for
Caring more than
I’m cared for
Crying more than
I’m cried for
Holding more than
I’m held
Touching more than
I’m touched
Fighting more than
I’m fought for
Loving more than
I’m loved
Wanting more than
I’m wanted
Too tired to…
Need
Give
Wish
Care
Cry
Hold
Touch
Fight
Love
Want
And far too tired for you

Tomorrow











What makes me believe
Today you’ll be different
Different than yesterday
Somehow better
Tomorrow
Will promises made
Ever be promises kept
Why do I hold
So tightly to you
What would happen if…
If I let go
Would my heart explode
Splinter into a million pieces
Would you gather them up
Tape them together
And promise again
You’ll be different
Different than yesterday
Somehow better
Tomorrow