Rent Free

A Slice to my heart
One moment I’m fine
The next
I’m bleeding
Everything’s changed
Yet remains the same
My scar
Never fully heals
As if it knows
It’ll be torn open
Again
Tall on your soap box you stand
Though you’re such a small man
One more comment
Another useless declaration
Carefully planned
To keep me away
And bring me to my knees
I gave what you wanted
And still you remain
A smudge on my soul
Tormenting my dreams
Casting your shadow
Living rent free
You’ve soiled it all
Each special moment
Every precious memory
I’m left with nothing
It’s all very clear to me
I understand completely
The joke was on me
Don’t talk anymore
Just please
Leave me be

Posed

Discarded
Like an over-used accessory
Your well-worn doll
That sparkle once
Decorating my eyes
Must have grown dull
Your clouded vision of me
Determines my standing
Wait
Wasn’t I your favorite?
Your co-star
In this performance
Now cast aside
Only given
Barely a hasty glance
Perched upon some shelf
Collecting dust
An obsolete apparatus
Posed precisely
With a painted smile
Watching as you tickle
These newest versions
My understudies
Longing for the day
You’ll remember
The important role I played
Maybe you’ll remove me
From this artful display
Once you grow tired of
Your shiny playthings

Perfect For Me

Shame is a waste
A seemingly useless emotion
Slithering like a snake
It sneaks up on you
Thickens and constricts
Sucks the life out of victims
Feeds on the hearts and souls
Of the innocent and damned
Consumes every inch of tender skin
Spreading venom through frail bodies
It poisons everything
It’s poisoning me
Weakened past the point of reason
Insanity begins to take control
Swirling thoughts of madness reign
And become truth
Nothing is what it seems
I am no longer me
Such a cruel twist of fate
And you are no longer you
The hatred inside you grows
It surrounds you and taints all things
You wish to keep safe
You hate yourself
Likely more than you hate me
And though I am weak
From touching you
I know deep inside my dying soul
The damage you have done
Can never be undone
Gone is the person I thought
You were
Perfectly imperfect
Perfect for me
Now all I see is a vile shell
Your mark has been made
This task complete
And as I take my dying breath
A single moment of clarity blooms
Shame has proven its usefulness
After all
It’s destroyed both you
And me
Though there was never really
‘You and Me’
There was only you

Jagged Shards

I remember
When it was fresh and new
We laughed within
Endless hours of conversation
And then sat quietly for hours more
Discovering each other’s masks
Our many different faces

Carefully carved lines
Marked the path we
Trespassed
Keeping us safe
Yet trapping us
Bestriding the bond
Over a cavern of sin

Connecting fantasies
Dreams and nightmares
Indulging in wants
We shouldn't have
Taking what we pleased
In spite of consequence
Damning sanity

Breathing deep
Every moment
Each touch
Fire raged between us
An uncontrollable heat
Singeing our lips
With each passing kiss

Such intense emotion
At times neglected
Leaving my heart raw
In a defenseless state
Blurring the lines
In the blink of an eye
Between love and hate

The result could only be
Heartache
Broken dreams
Sweet hours of conversation
Now silenced by misery
Riding our merry-go-round
We twirled

Sitting quietly became
A deliberate punishment
Yours or mine
Who’s to say
Amidst hurt feelings
And indifference
It’s all the same

Leaving me behind
In this broken state
All things sacred
Left in jagged shards
Crushed in justifiable
Yet uncalled for
Disdain

There is no glue
No way to repair
The broken mirror
Replicating me
A thousand different ways
There is no more pain
No blood left to bleed

The pretty mess
I willingly let you
Make of me
Do you see what I see?
Horrified by all
The memories
You stole from me

Can you still feel me?
Like you used to
Thoughts of you still haunt me
Do thoughts of me haunt you?
I suppose
It doesn’t really matter
If they do

Still
I remember
When it was fresh and new
We laughed within
Endless hours of conversation
And then sat quietly for hours more
Do you?

The Joke

Are you done yet
Have I bled enough
Honestly could I ever bleed
Enough for you to be happy

You’ve justified your misdeed
Twisted it in your mind
Made yourself believe
I was just a lapse in sanity

You created a story
A manipulated masterpiece
It fit the picture you needed
To prove your innocence

You told me I meant everything
Though clearly this new version
Makes you the martyr
You desperately need to be

You’ve stained every word
Held sacred by me
What does it matter
What mattered to me

I was the joke
You could never leave
Until
You finally did

Lined With Gold

Layers of tattered papers
Hold penned sonnets
Long since expected
Declaring love
Whispered promises
Devotions to keep
Letters received
One followed by another
Spinning fairy tales
Crafted from whimsy
Tied neatly in a bow
Cleverly lined with gold
Now worn from hours
Of recitation
Committing each word
To my heart shaped box
Of memories
Your cherished notes
Ceased long ago
As did anticipated hope
There would be
One more
Read by moons light
These shadowed words
Display differently
For now I see
The fallacy played
A story believed
Conjuring my desire
To set them free
To be carried away
Upon stolen winds
Sent back
From where they came

My Bubble

A bubble is made
Of such fragile
Material
Thin and transparent
Defying gravity
Flitting from
Surface to sky
Gleaming in the sunlight
My bubble
Withstands storms
Callous skies
And Rocky ground
It floats
It persists
And remains intact
Heavy and weighed down
My bubble
Seems made from
Impenetrable steel
Yet still
Thin and transparent
Inside it I exist
Looking out
Watching you
As you look in
Watching me
I want to know
How can it remain
What would it take
For you
To burst my bubble
The one you helped create
And reinforce
For me
To finally touch
To feel
To taste
And to finally know
What my bubble was
Created to mean
If not for anything
But maybe
To finally set me free